i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just pee around me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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