just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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