it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
