I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
