Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
