The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
