Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
