it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
