Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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