No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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