i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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