if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
