there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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