Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
