Only a mothe r could love this liver
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
