im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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