its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
