If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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