Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
did i just pee glitter
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
