3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
