chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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