whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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