All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Randomize
