The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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