It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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