The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
