We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
