He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
