..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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