Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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