can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
