I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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