Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it glows. i had to have it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
