**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
