idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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