I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
