woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
