do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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