I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
