youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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