hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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