Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Randomize
