he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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