If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
