i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it's like iHOP with fire
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
