10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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