i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
