I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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