i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
