The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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