woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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