oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
