If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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