I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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