Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize