Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
