just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
