no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
