I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
