I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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