I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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