Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
