on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
His nipple licking is glorious
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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