God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
