haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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