Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize