Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Alive.
So much puke
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
