All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize