what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
