After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize