I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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