Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize