I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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