you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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