Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize